flight

It's been so long
But i know this is worth my time
and i've been so alone,
Since you've been gone
I try to remember the minutes of the day i made you mine.
And i will fly through winter to get to you,
i will fly for hours to feel you,
feel you again.

if you could only send me a sign
maybe i would get through this with a smile on my face
Maybe i could atleast fall apart with some grace
If you could somehow remember my name
Maybe the storm outside would put me to sleep
Maybe i could enjoy some of this pain

i have done a few songs based on my friend's sam music. none are on the myspace yet, but check him out.
MYSPACE.COM/SAMHARTMUSIC ;
inspirational music.

beauty in everything

I see you standing still, proud right by me
Every day and every night
And i hear your voice singing me lullabies
When i'm losing my directions
And it gets me wondering,
What have i done to deserve
To see beauty in everything.
And you're the only friend i need,
So they can yell and they can leave
You blind me from everything else
And it got me wondering
What have i done to deserve
To see beauty in everything.
It could rain for days and days,
And dreams could slowly fade away,
I could walk miles all alone,
And when sadness invades every pore in my skin and each one of my bones,
I still wonder,
What have i done to deserve
To see beauty in everything,

to see you smiling.

vile

See i feel it every day.
I wish i told them your name instead of giving them my lips
The little girl i am is the little girl only you can see
And it's a secret that you'll be the one to know by heart
It's a secret that when you feel like leaving will make you come back
And if you ever have a doubt,
You can kiss me again,
If you ever have a doubt,
try to taste me again
And around you, I try to move fast,
Clear up my mistakes with sincere smiles,
Make you caress my face when i feel vile.
Can't you let me be ashamed and give up?
can't you love me less?
Can you clean up my mess?
please clean me up when i'm a mess

i think we can have our own reality
The one people wish they could see,
we can own each other like if it was the only way,
Like if it was simply made to be,
we don't need much words to explain
The feelings that are our most precious joy
Our deepest pains
I know we can create our world
The one people wish they could live in
I know we can make this real
I know we can build a castle out of our feelings

my-self

Meet me by your house,
In between winter and spring,
The day before i found
The most beautiful me i have ever seen.
Right by your frontdoor,
I left a little bit of me,
A few glances that you'll never feel
A few smiles that you'll never see.
Meet me in your backyard.
where i lost myself,
where i lost my beautiful self that night.

i thought it would get easier
i thought my heart would get stronger
and i made myself believe that it would get better.
But i still shake when the sun comes down,
I still lose control when you're hard to find,
the minutes before last call still make me lose my mind.
Do they see you shining like i do?
And when they know you're with me, do they want to steal you,
steal you, steal you
away from me.
Because the blurry streets around you,
are not the ones that i see,
Is it easy to forget, that i make you happy
when they try to steal you, steal you,
away from me.
Every night i learn to spell,
my ennemy's name,
Every night i learn to spell
the name of my closest ennemy,
j e a l o u s y.

never tried

when my thoughts sometimes run into you
it probably doesn't hurt as much as it should
and since we both know the beautiful days are far gone
there's point in thinking of what went wrong,
And i don't regret a second spent by you
See I don't clearly remember being by your side,
You fell asleep knowing i'd never be yours
I fell asleep dreaming of goodbyes.
I can only blame myself, i knew it all along
You were alone and i was lost
I needed to kiss, you needed to touch.
We never tried to survive,
we never tried to get through more than one night,
no, we never tried to survive,
no, this is why, this is why we could never fight.

your fingertips have the power to make me shake
You really can't let me go home scared
Walking in crowded streets
It could all desappear when i forget your face
It could all fade away when you lose your touch
Lose your touch on me,
and as bad as i believe the sky wrote this story
As bad as i know you'll always feel me,
I'm terrified of how my heart stops beating when you say this.

what comes out of the mess we made is so beautiful.







i love you.
i love you more than anyone has ever loved,
i love you more than you will ever know.

You know they try to take me away
But they'll never use words as well as you do,
The wall i built between me and the world
Was made so you can walk right through
I don't think you know how beautiful you are
How your pain runs through my veins
How i feel you being far
How you are the brightest of every star.
You are precious,
You are a winter night wrapped in white sheets with a fragile glass of wine,
I think the shape of your lips was drawn to fit with mine.

play with me, please?

I know i make you lose your head
And i see i make you lose your mind
Sometimes i make you waste heartbeats
Often i play too much and waste your time
But i know that if you hold my hand tonight
You won't let go for a little while,
And If you hold it tight enough
I promise to stop running around

damn you and your beautiful eyes
naked bodies and sleepless summer nights
damn the taste of your skin
the wind in my hair and the music playing
tonight we make it happen,
Fall in love, listen to me breathing
I know this is it,
and for a second i'm not afraid anymore.

travelling soul

you will never know how you gave yourself away
You lost your mind, you lost your place
You're a body without a beating heart,
A simple pretty face.
And the way they see you slowly destroys you
Because you know you start to believe it's true,
Where did your soul go?

almost

and i'm almost telling you,
Secrets and lies
Almost whispering love and goodbyes
Do you feel my body shiver
Do you feel it falling apart
When silences are building in between us.

I know there's something hidden in our lost wars
Spending my night fighting against the most beautiful thing in my life
I won't leave it all behind when it hurts
But leave your hand on my face.
But don't walk out on us
Please don't walk out of this place.

not yours

You can not, hold me back
And whisper the sweet words you wish to say
You can't reach as far as my heart
Did you ever think i could just walk away?
The life you live will never bring me back to you
You lost me when you lost the innocent part of you
So don't touch me
Please don't look at me like that
You will never open your eyes
So wide
That you will simply stare at me,
Simply realize


i'm fine without you.

bed time story

You could tell her she is the prettiest
That once you met her, you just couldn't forget,
The way her lips move and the lines on her hands,
But you knew, you knew you'd have to leave her again.
It didn't take much,
It didn't take a minute, for you to have her,
She was scared of your touch
She knew you'd chase her and you'd be the first.
The days you were gone, she wondered if you'd come back
She knew it wouldn't get better
She knew she was falling fast,
but she wouldn't, just wouldn't let go.
She would fall asleep by another one's side
Because she knew she was still the one sleeping in your bed tonight,
And every smile you gave her, you know she kept it,
Every places you went, you knew she'd be here
If you only knew that luck has nothing to do with it,
That every breath was put towards it,
you would never doubt her passion,
You would cherish her heart every single second
You would take care of it through days and seasons.

what am i doing to myself.

seems like i just really love playing with fire, and getting burned.
seems like i enjoy pushing myself to the limits, let's see how well i can deal with pain.

essential

Walk me through the bar
Hold my hand because i can't walk straight
But don't, please don't blame anything,
Anything else than you
I can't help but stare,
Stare right through you.
And you're the beauty i find during my lonely nights
When you're gone away and i'm too tired to fight,
I still draw the lines of your face with my lost memories,
I don't think i have enough blood to bleed,
To feel bad for myself sitting here.
What if i do need you to breathe easy?
You're essential for a soul like mine,
You're a necessity for a girl like me.

Can you hear me breathing?

Everything seems so clear when we're laying in the dark,

I think there's a reason,

There's a reason why you're not sleeping when i'm facing your back.

half way there

Guards up
And i know i don't make it easy for you
To stand close
To stay close to me
But please shut your eyes and still see,
that i play games,
Play games by myself that only make sense to me.
When i'm lost and begging for you,




Keep the feeling, keep me.

let me let me let me.

Am I still laying here,
I wouldn’t know,
The world has stopped spinning
The minute I felt you close

Let me be a little bit of a dreamer
a little bit

And fall

I know I wasn’t the first
But trust me I’ll be the last
if you want me like I want you
If you kiss me the way I would kiss you

Let me be in love.

Let me let me let me

Don’t wake up yet

Let me let me let me

Watch you

Let me let me let me

Imagine you mine

Let me let me let me

Think everything is fine

Let me find out what’s love

And let me let me let me fall.

do i want to know if you're doing okay?
I want you happy..but i don't really.

something's wrong with me

feel cold

Standing in the street and I see you

Run, don’t stop running

I’d rather sit in the winter cold all night

I’d rather wait until they turn on the city lights

Than to look away.

If there was insecurity living in my head then it’s far gone

I’ll never be as lonely as when you’re out of my sight

Tell me it’s okay for me to fight.

It first started with a touch telling a million stories

Are you still afraid of it.

Don’t let me be cold again,

I’m standing in the same street,

I’m waiting, staring straight ahead,

I know you’ll meet me if I can count to ten.

love is all you need

makes sense.

why do you have to make this so hard.
you make me want to desappear.
why do you make it so hard to breathe.

fall, fall, fall.

Today i sat on a bench for hours.

It was about 6 pm and the air was cold, not too cold, just enough for my skin to react. I looked at people around me and they were all walking so fast, everything was going so slow for me.
The sky was blue and the trees were turning orange. And it was as if i was just discovering the world for the first time. Nothing mattered, nothing controlled me, nothing owned me. I was just a girl sitting on a bench. Just a body. My mind was far gone. All i could experience was this feeling. It reminded me how i felt the last few nights before christmas, in France, when i was still a little girl. I remember walking in the streets, holding my father's hand, looking at people's faces while they were buying presents, and i knew something amazing was about to happen. I was fascinated. I remember the cold air on my face. I remember knowing things were going to be good, because everything felt right, right at that moment.

"She stood very still, because her first perception was not of sight, but of touch: the consciousness, not of a visual presence, but of a slap in the face...She knew that she could not move until her permitted her to...She knew it was the most beautiful face she would ever see, because it was the abstraction of strenght made visible. She felt a convulsion of anger, of protest, of resistance- and of pleasure. He stood looking up at her; it was not a glance, but an act of ownership... He looked up as if he expected her to be there, as if her knew she would be back. She saw the hint of a smile, more insulting than words. He sustained the insolence of looking straight at her, he would not move, he would not grant the concession of turning away- of acknowledging that he had no right too look at her in such manner. He had not merely taken that right, he was saying silently that she had given it to him.
'Why do you always stare at me?'
'For the same reason you've been staring at me.'"


-Ayn Rand

if i dance for hours...

maybe i'll forget?
i'll probably feel better.

if i smoke all day,
maybe i'll regret?
Could i ever feel dirtier?

way, way too silent

and everytime you leave...it's not alright.

your voice controls me. i swear the world stands still when i hear you sing.

but can i do it?- i don't know
but can i let this go? -no.
and if you're not here when i wake up, will i get through the day?
If you're gone for days and days.
don't let me be scared, no you just shouldn't.
i'll hide so well, you'll never find me again..

help me breathe.

when i'm lost...
reach for my hand
hurt me so i can feel
So i can feel alive again
warm me up
but don't touch me.
Dream you know the words to calm me down,
do you honestly believe you're exactly what i was trying to find?
I dare you to look into my eyes
when i'm losing control
losing control?
have i ever, ever, had any.

"Fuck this day and the inferior dirt that stands in our way. Fuck this city and the space between us. Fuck the sky and the earth but most of all, Fuck me for possibly ruining the last beautiful thing in my life." - my love.

1:50

2am-3am-4am
such lonely hours.
Too much time to think.


are we thinking the same thing right at this minute?
you tell me.
you told me.
say it again tonight.

call me

For the last three years i have been waiting by the phone
And we have smiled, we have cried, we have yelled and fought
We have laughed, we whispered and made up.
We have tried to find excuses
We have chased each other until we were both out of breath
We made our story beautiful
We made our story unforgettable.
I tried to be distant
I tried to let you go
But three years are not enough to get you out of my head,
and there are so many words that i'm thinking
that haven't been said
There are millions of promises you could never tell me,

So dial my number and call me.

on the road

I wonder how easy it makes things, to be able to get away from everything every 2 months.
I also wonder how difficult it makes things.
The feeling of missing someone is the feeling i know best.
Certainly because i am always attracted to musicians, and musicians are known to be on the road.
I wonder how it feels to meet people every night, to sleep in another place every night, to travel to another town every day.

The truth is? I am jealous.
Things that are temporary are always the most precious.

what i love the most

is to lay on the ground during a summer night with a cigarrette in hand.

that's all

let down-go

sure, it's pretty
it might feel right tonight
but really, it's nothing at all, really, it's not real, really, it's not worth anything.
open your beautiful eyes.




and if i'm wrong? try harder.
i'm letting go.

foolish game.

oh the games we play.
you say if you walk away, then i'll try to find you.

i hate that you know.
I make the rules.
just not in your bedroom.



why did i even start playing.

we both lost anyway.

about our bed;

let's go buy white sheets,
let's share pillows.
I want to see coffee stains
I want to create our smell.
Let's lay here for days,
Late for work and late for class
let's touch and fight
let's talk all night.
Play with my hair
while i stare at you
Let's get a small bed
So i never feel far away from you ever again.
Let's make memories.

Passion at its best

I care more than you will ever know.
Every thing you say, create, write, sing, fascinates me. God, falling in love never really meant anything real before i met you. People always say "when it's the right person, you'll know". And they might have been just right.
I knew the day we met.
the first hour,
the first time you made me smile
and the first time you put your hands on me.
Something was different. I can't say this is going to last forever because it affects us so much that it scares the hell out of us and we could both get destroyed by a foolish misunderstanding or a mistake..but what i can say, what i can promise you is that from now on, i will do my best to make it last.
You make me feel.
You make me feel happy, lucky and all the most precious feelings in the world.
But you can also make me feel sad, my saddest, hurt, empty.
Because you can do anything to me. You own my mind and my body. You control me.
I am so passionate about you. It's slowly killing me.

And i'm loving every second of it.

kiss her,

Don't think, don't wait.
If it feels right to you, there are chances it feels right to her too.

sincerely,

so many things, feelings and people are fake these days that it is the hardest thing in the world to find something real and true. We are all looking for something that will make us happy, someone who will show us how beautiful life can be. When we do find a special thing and a special person, the dream usually fades away because beautiful things are so temporary in life. Happiness is such a precious feeling, we can all remember a moment when we have felt these butterflies all around us.

The hardest part is to not let these butterflies fly away.

what this summer brought

i love growing up
i hate growing old.
This was the summer i realized that i could not be a little girl anymore.
I make decisions, stupid ones.
Sometimes i learn, sometimes i don't, i can't lie.

I'm still a little girl no matter what. I need to be taken care of, and i wonder who will take care of me when they'll leave me. This summer brought so many insecurities,
do i leave everything again? Can i leave everything again,
what i now call home, who i now call my bestfriends?
The answer seems so obvious until i get to the next thought,
can i let my family go? my family.
And i'll never hear: don't worry they're just a few miles away.
Try to deal with an ocean away.
I feel so torn in between two worlds. Always have, always will. Being blamed for not wanting to live where i should live is the worse feeling i have ever experienced. I always had to leave people i loved, they never understood. I just wish i never had to do this again.