Prices

It's not the same bed- It's not the same face
So why can i smell them all over his sheets again?
My loss is your most precious gain
My shattered love could never be given,
You know you left me here with this disease and no cure,
You know you left me here with the worst curse,
I'll stalk secret cravings and this never satisfied thirst,
I'll never trust those hands again,
Two hundred days and sixty more sleeping with fame
One hundred left hating mistakes he has yet to make,
Paying the price for you breaking me
From my perfect condition to a ghost of me,
Paying the price for your lonely days far gone,
 I'm already hating him for all the things he hasn't done.
 Healing the thought you can't make it up to me
I've waited for the wind to blow my way for so long
I can't barely feel it in my lungs anymore
I will let you run after this until you collapse at my feet
I will give you hope in the name of deceit
From the bottom of my heart you deserve to feel
What i'll be feeling for my wasted years,
The sickness of insecurity
Running through all my bones and my entire body.

Calling home

If i sit here in quiet,
I'll love you just as much as when we met,
You'll let me smoke and i'll let you rest
It's March, it's August and it's the worst of you stealing my best,
It's the worst of me stealing your best.
I'm screaming but my own blood can't hear
I'm bent over this sink and my insides are failing
In the morning i'm calling, can't you tell i'm lying-
I'm reading today's paper outloud so you listen carefully
But the lines have my words  in between
Can you read them to save what's left of me
Tell him to let me go so i can be,
So i can take back my innocence and naivety,
Back in my mother's arms,
Away from this damn city. 
This layer of skin has your name,
It has silver pieces from that night only you can paint,
I picked them all up right by your bed
Can't you all see the blood on my hands?
Can't you still see it after all those years.

Laying under

Please don't make threats while you're still tied down,
I'll let it go when i can't hear a sound
Voices praying for a missing love
Coming from the place where our bodies were found
Do you stare at the wall when the morning crawls
Oh do you imagine my fall when the morning crawls
You won't find love laying all alone
You won't find love wishing for more
Locking yourself under the earth
Letting the dirt get to your head
Blinding yourself to crave darkness,
Swinging your legs with joy until they break
Taking it all in til you can't breathe
Staring at walls so you forget

Rean

You're a child screaming away
To color the fields you once drew 
Because reality could never be enough 
To hold on to the paper thin lies that made you grow up 
Hating people you were destined to love-
Are you desappointed in your heart
When it gets too weak to handle the simple fact
That you're all alone 
He never loved you to the moon and back,
This bridge is the closest you'll get
Running after a little hope til you ran out
I see you standing on the other side praying for faith. 

Steal

I recognized your writing
The way your words run up and down the hills you used to live in
And when the sun's hiding behind trees more alive than you'll ever be,
You borrowed it to put some of me in your sad sad songs
Because i'm not one to say you've had me all along
But the curse thats bringing tomorrow proves us both wrong
Listen to the whispers 
Hold your own and bring your girl home
I'm the season that comes and goes

So you gave back the sun and you can't write the words,
So you gave back the sun, and you can't write a word.

finding out

Tell me how hard it was hitting you
Was the fog kissing your bedroom window
The wind slamming your door close,
Closer to what you swore you'd never be
Further away from me
Was it slow or was it fast
Did you drag your heart to bed
Did the smoke get to your head
Was the city on your side
When you decided loneliness wasn't for you
Those street signs don't mean anything to you
Did you cry when you realized it was the last thing to do?
Tell me did your arms get weak
Around three or four in the morning
Reaching for the beauty through your ceiling
Hiding from your life, coming out at night
Running up and down your mind



Tell me the way you felt
When you watched me fall to the ground
Why did everyone i love break down,
If it was such a silent sound
If we were all good, you swore we were both fine.
Find another word for departure
This can't be happening again
This can't be happening,
We were almost there-
I've got an empty heart but i've never felt more safe
And on my knees, i've been praying for this for years

Mornings are a reminder
To the every day habits that left a few pieces still on the floor
Take a two way street to try and compromise
End up hitting the same damn wall
Self destruct, do you still feel as pure?
You didn't leave me in ruins
I still feel the sun rising through this side of the country
And if the January cold still gets to me
It's not as bad from the safe place I'm in
As from where you're standing
where the body I used to love's shivering
The eyes I used to crave start staring
Your voice's breaking

You'll always be feeling

The way the nerves of your neck tense up
When my name is brought up
The way your hands turn into fists
I used to find romance in the way you were fucked up
I used to find glory into each and every one of your defeats.