You carry me and put me down on the side of our bed,
I walk through that door and I fall down those stairs,
Words come into my mouth from the back of your head
I see what you're thinking about,
I've got you crawling inside my skin at all times
And I can't get rid of this desire
It's ruining me deep down but it doesn't get much higher
All I want is to tell you I won't be yours
All I want is to never hear the truth
No one can live like this.
No one can live through this
But you and I.

There are trees with branches wrapping around of our bodies,
Keeping us together in the backyard
Forcing us to see what we could be
Forcing us to feel that desire
If this time we tried harder.

Tell me what you want
Tell me what these years meant to you
I ran away because I knew


if I act like you don't exist,
Maybe it will all start making sense

You may have climbed it,
But you never took me there.

I know you're glad they can all see it now,
I know you're glad they all stare.

Such wasted disillusions.
Such wasted lies wished on another heart.

In my dreams, I still hear you whisper about taking me there,

In my dreams, I still break your bones.

The new days

I've been breaking right under your eyes,

And i'm this close to run and hide

It's been a slow fall but it's been one above all,

I never thought i'd doubt everything i ever believed in,

What i once wrote on naked walls 

You could have heard me screamimg,

Never thought i'd stop trusting my gut instincts,

Or the people i never thought i'd stop loving.

I can't take my secrets back from them,

And I can't let you fall in love ever again

I'm stuck in something that never feels right,

Hiding in corners of my own mind,

Wishing for the dead to come back to life.

I've gone summers without sunlight,

I found my peace inside this fight.

I won't listen to you

No i won't listen when you tell me 

That i can't write about suffering anymore.

Prices

It's not the same bed- It's not the same face
So why can i smell them all over his sheets again?
My loss is your most precious gain
My shattered love could never be given,
You know you left me here with this disease and no cure,
You know you left me here with the worst curse,
I'll stalk secret cravings and this never satisfied thirst,
I'll never trust those hands again,
Two hundred days and sixty more sleeping with fame
One hundred left hating mistakes he has yet to make,
Paying the price for you breaking me
From my perfect condition to a ghost of me,
Paying the price for your lonely days far gone,
 I'm already hating him for all the things he hasn't done.
 Healing the thought you can't make it up to me
I've waited for the wind to blow my way for so long
I can't barely feel it in my lungs anymore
I will let you run after this until you collapse at my feet
I will give you hope in the name of deceit
From the bottom of my heart you deserve to feel
What i'll be feeling for my wasted years,
The sickness of insecurity
Running through all my bones and my entire body.

Calling home

If i sit here in quiet,
I'll love you just as much as when we met,
You'll let me smoke and i'll let you rest
It's March, it's August and it's the worst of you stealing my best,
It's the worst of me stealing your best.
I'm screaming but my own blood can't hear
I'm bent over this sink and my insides are failing
In the morning i'm calling, can't you tell i'm lying-
I'm reading today's paper outloud so you listen carefully
But the lines have my words  in between
Can you read them to save what's left of me
Tell him to let me go so i can be,
So i can take back my innocence and naivety,
Back in my mother's arms,
Away from this damn city. 
This layer of skin has your name,
It has silver pieces from that night only you can paint,
I picked them all up right by your bed
Can't you all see the blood on my hands?
Can't you still see it after all those years.

Laying under

Please don't make threats while you're still tied down,
I'll let it go when i can't hear a sound
Voices praying for a missing love
Coming from the place where our bodies were found
Do you stare at the wall when the morning crawls
Oh do you imagine my fall when the morning crawls
You won't find love laying all alone
You won't find love wishing for more
Locking yourself under the earth
Letting the dirt get to your head
Blinding yourself to crave darkness,
Swinging your legs with joy until they break
Taking it all in til you can't breathe
Staring at walls so you forget